Mens Room Etiquette

In life there are unwritten rules. Some are stupid others are necessary; like the middle seat in a airplane always gets both arm rest. This brings me to the mens restroom, YES there are unwritten rules when it comes the restroom.

 I am unsure how many times Ive been at a urinal and a random stranger walks in and decides that even though the bathroom is empty and there is eight urinals and ten stalls open he needs to use the one right next to me. Complete unnecessary you say, you would be correct. I don't need you standing, humming, and potentially urinating on the floor next to my feet. I don't need to be social, I don't need to know you have horrible aim and this is the reason for your two "Oops" kids, and I am not a judge for American Idol, you may be the best hummer ever........However I DONT CARE! Pick a different urinal.

So for your future knowledge and for the love of my feet please follow the below rules

1. When you enter the restroom Pick the first urinal.
2. Alternate Urinals leaving a separation between occupants
3. If all separated Urinals are taken, use a stall
4. NO Humming
5. NO Talking on the Phone
6. NO Selfies
7. NO Brushing your Teeth (Its a public Restroom......Its for your own Safety) 
8. NO Talking to another Man while he is in mid stream

Until My Next Post Enjoy a Beer